I am in awe of people who can truly write well. I know I do all right when it comes to writing, but people like Wil Wheaton, David Pogue, my real brother, Chris, and one of my faux brothers, Brian, show me how much more room I have to grow. It’s been a dream of mine to write a book. My dream book alternates between fiction and non-fiction, but when it comes to execution, I just don’t have the attention span to write an actual book. Even with a blog, it takes a lot of talent to get people to come back day after day, or week after week. Yet these guys, particularly Wil Wheaton and David Pogue, have thousands of readers (including myself!!) who wait on baited breath – or at least excitedly – for that next post to be up. It’s crazy! And David Pogue has written books that are HUNDREDS of pages long. To be able to write an 800 page book, have it be cohesive, amusing and engrossing (and it’s a book about an Operating System, for God’s sakes!) is so far beyond me. I can barely get through a five hundred word blog entry. *sigh* Someday I hope to be as successful a writer, as critically acclaimed if not as widely read, as these guys are. In the meantime, I’ll keep picking away and someday I’ll have the material to write my book.
Awe
The awesomeness of coffee shops
I love coffee. I don’t think that there’s anyone who would (or could) dispute that based on how often I write about coffee (whether on Twitter, Facebook, or here). But besides the wonderfulness of a well roasted French Roast, Lucky 7, or Alanzo’s Double Dark, there’s also the allure of the people watching. I walked into Arabica an hour and a half ago and, besides the obvious allure of being able to snag a table that has a power source (yay Wi-Fi!!), getting here early allows for the best opportunity to people watch. Pop in some earbuds and suddenly you can imagine the conversations happening between any given people. At the window bar we have the mod crowd – talking about whatever show happened at Space last night and how much weed they smoked. At the tables along the side we have some students anxiously cramming for the midterms coming up before spring break. Away from the outlets we have a mother/son team playing/learning cribbage (huzzah for sharing that awesomeness!!). And up on the raised section, we have some aspiring writers (yes, including myself) who are watching as the customers ebb and flow. There are people I know who come in, people I think I might know, people I’d like to know, and people I have no clue who the heck they are. But that’s part of what makes coffee shops so incredibly great. You can be that person that everyone knows, or you can just sit in the corner, staring out the window dreaming…
**Post Script: You can also evidently be that person who orders a skinny latte and waves/snaps at the barista saying “uh excuse me, that’s mine” in a rather snooty way. But really – no one wants likes that person, so please don’t be that person! :o)
Posted in Portland
Two roads diverged in a wood…
Today was the first day that I admitted out loud to anybody that I’m doubting my ascension at L.L. Bean. It’s also the first time that I have thought about it, and not been heartbroken about it. For the past two and a half years I have been all L.L. Bean, all the time. Even when applying for other jobs or working at other jobs, it’s always been with an eye towards “how can this position make me a better candidate for L.L. Bean.” Over the past two weeks, I have slowly come to realize that thinking in those terms is getting me nowhere. Although I see these positions as building my resume, they are evidently not doing much in the eyes of the people doing the hiring (at least within my department). I have been told by multiple leaders that getting a job in our store is one of the most difficult things to do because the people who work there are among the most over-qualified workers you’re going to find anywhere. ((It’s true, former White House advisors, Wall Street bankers, former business executives have all been found on our payroll)) While accurate, I’ve always held out hope that my enthusiasm and potential would eventually win the day. I think that today is the day that I have consciously thrown in the towel. I concede defeat. I’m not giving up on my dream of being a leader at L.L. Bean, whether in the store or elsewhere, but I’m giving up on my dream of it right now. I have the potential to be a valued contributor at Job #3 (soon to surpass all and become Job #1). I would be a fool to not acknowledge and embrace the opportunity and challenge of such a role. Whether I decide to grow and develop into a leader at Job #3/1, and decide to pursue position(s) there, or if I grow into a leader there and decide to return my focus to L.L. Bean, giving my all at Job #3/1 is where my focus should be.
It feels weird to admit to the world that I’ve put my dreams on hold. But maybe, as cliche as it sounds, putting the old dream on hold will allow a new one to take its place. I know I’ve made the right decision, and I’m going to end up being where I need to be, and I’m going to end up liking where I am. It’s just going to take some time for my brain to communicate that to my heart.
Posted in Work
Catharsis in the weirdest places
This week has been chock full of ups and downs and all arounds (in case you missed a brief glimpse at the turmoil, here it is). I officially gave notice at Apple, so am going to be down to two jobs as of 3pm next Friday. So, yay (and boo, let’s be honest). I’m feeling increasingly content that I made the right decision about taking the full time position. We had a team captains meeting for Relay for Life and when we got out at seven it was still sunny (huzzah, is spring finally here?!). Got to hang out socially with a bunch of people that I don’t normally see outside of certain environments, and did I mention that spring may actually be here? These are all fabulous uppers. The downers are still unavailable for comment, but are lurking in the unpleasant corners of my mind waiting to pounce. But I’m doing my best to kick their ass as often as possible.
These are the things that have driven me to a great little coffee shop downtown. I decided that instead of moping around the house drinking wine (which despite it being three o’clock in the afternoon was a distinct possibility…), I needed to get out and about otherwise there was a chance I wouldn’t leave at all. So while sitting in the coffeeshop, trying to look more productive than just checking out stupid cat pictures I decided to write my self-appraisal for L.L. Bean. It’s been sitting on my virtual desktop for probably a month now, but the last time I tried to work on it the word processor kept crashing and the frustration was not worth it. So. Here we are. A month later, a lot more introspection and a different perspective altogether now that I’m not looking towards L.L. Bean for my next career step. You wouldn’t think that writing a self-appraisal for a position where I’ve been yanked hither and thither (and not in the pleasant way) would be cathartic, yet here we are. However, so many things that I wrote were things that I felt needed to be said. And getting it off my chest probably helped me feel better about the time that I do spend there. I sent it off to my supervisor. Tomorrow we should be sitting down to talk about…things…and I’ll be interested in hearing what he has to say about my thoughts. In the interim though, I’m going to finish my latte, my productivity, and head out to my friend’s play. It’s a girls’ and Arden – and maybe Dan – night out on the town. This should be fun!!
Posted in Work
So it’s been awhile…
I know with blogs you’re supposed to update every day, or every couple days, and it’s now been a week, but I swear I had a good excuse! First off, I was working kind of a lot. I think that’s always a good excuse. I’ve also had a lot of stuff going on in my personal life though. I’m not sure if I’m ready to talk about it, if I should talk about it, or what, but suffice it to say – I’m torn between being heart broken and out and out pissed off. I feel as though I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place, one being my heart and the other being my head.
Why do the friends who think they are most capable of adulthood turn out to be the least? Why can’t I do what I feel I need to for them and for my family. I know that it’s impractical to take care of everyone, but that doesn’t stop me from wanting to. *giant sigh* I suppose that at some point I’ll fully disclose/discuss what’s going on, but right now…it’s still slightly too raw.
Posted in Turmoil
Apple Care
Because I wasn’t already sold on Apple Care (the extended warranty available for Apple electronics), I have once again had my faith reinforced. When I purchased my computer, I added on – in my “why tempt Murphy more than I really need to” way – $250 worth of extended warranty. That warranty tripled my tech and phone support, and basically said “if it breaks we’ll fix it”*. I have now gotten that investment back twice over. In October, my top case cracked (the top case is what the keyboard is nestled in on a laptop). I got it replaced (for free because of the warranty) and that was that. Until I noticed that, since then, the mouse button has been sticking under the edge. Oh the horror and the unintentional selections that were made because of it!! So tonight I went back to the trusty Genius Bar to have them fix it (again). I learned that the cost of this simple replacement – it took about twenty minutes and that was WITH me socializing with the genius the whole time – was $284 dollars. Do the math and that’s almost $600 dollars that I didn’t have to pay out of pocket because I spent that extra $250 up front. What a comfort, especially with such a major investment!
Technology is a fickle thing. It doesn’t take much to make things not work (hair, dust, simply using the product…), if you buy a computer (whether Apple, Dell, EMachine, whatever) I would definitely buy whatever extended warranty is offered. If you don’t, that’s just asking Murphy to come strike dead your computer. If you do, and nothing happens, well. Shucks, but I would rather spend $250 dollars for the warranty and not need it then spend $900 dollars or be out a computer…think about it!!
*Like with all things, there are limitations to Apple Care – liquid damage and the incredibly ambiguous “accidental” damage being among those limitations. Moral of the story, as long as whatever is broken wasn’t caused by you throwing the machine against the wall or because your roommate spilled beer on it, you’re covered!
Posted in Apple
Vagaries of iTunes
One of my favorite writers, Wil Wheaton, has been known to share his frustrations/amazement with iTunes. While amusing to me (seriously, who doesn’t love fictional conversations with technology?), I maybe wasn’t as sympathetic as could be to the plight of randomized iTunes. That is until I lost all my playlists on iTunes and my iPod. In the past hour I have heard the Backstreet Boys (don’t judge me…), Tom Petty, some tracks from Les Miserables, Ray Charles, the Wallflowers, Incubus, Barenaked Ladies, and some remastered versions of Ella Fitzgerald. Although I may have forgotten that I have some of this music in my Library, it’s still startling to hear some of these songs in conjunction with each other. Seriously, Backstreet Boys followed by Tom Petty? Somewhere Tom Petty’s head is hurting and he doesn’t even know why.
It makes for an interesting trip down memory lane. After all, listening to the 90s Smart Playlist truly is a trip through my adolescence. And it reminds me of not only the rough parts of growing up, but some of the best (and awesomely worst).
Regardless, it definitely makes me wish that my iPod wasn’t ancient and had (a) the Genius capability or (b) it – or my phone- had the ability to access Pandora…Oh well, with some of the changes that are coming up, maybe I’ll have the ability to squirrel away enough to get an iPod Touch.
Posted in Music!
Waxing poetic
I think that blogging is truly the format that I was missing in HS and College (or maybe just my entire academic life haha). I am able to do a wee bit of research, write something that is occasionally insightful and/or witty, and wrap it up before my attention span goes…hey wanna go ride a bike?!
But in all seriousness, I love being able to share my thoughts with the world. And even if the world isn’t actually reading my blog – although visits from TinaB and Syd always brighten my day :) – I put what I was thinking out there. And that’s enough for now.
*sigh of contentment*
</Poetic waxing>
Posted in Work
Too many options
There’s something to be said for knowing that my life could go any of three different directions. In this wretched economy, I have not just one, but three jobs with three excellent companies. On the other hand, there’s also something to be said for knowing which direction my life is going in. Today I got handed an opportunity on a silver platter. The problem is, there’s a lot of potential (with the possibility of becoming actualized!) for my life to go in a different direction in the next month or so. Which way do I go? I have two great opportunities for growth and stability, but I don’t want to sacrifice either one. Gah! Which one do I choose?! Only time will tell, and whichever decision is made will be for the best…
…However little help that is in making the actual decision!!
Posted in Abject Fear, Job #1, Job #2, Job #3, Work
waiting
I don’t know about any of you other slaves to the hourly wage, but I would argue that the worst part of having to wait to punch in is the waiting to punch in. I’m almost always early to work and that last ten minutes before you can clock in just drags on For-ev-er. Someday I’m going to be able to come in, clock in right away or (wait for it) just go to work because I’m salaried. Unfortunately, because that time is likely in my distant future, for now I’m stuck a slave to the timeclock, waiting for the hour to chime, ready to go down and serve customers the best I can.
