Waiting For That Rocket

Turns out I’m better at understanding things on paper than I am executing them in real life.

Our improv class may have a motto of “f*** it,” but I continue to get stuck.

This is something I’m going to have to come to grips with in life, as well as in class.

The past week has been great for getting me back on an even keel. I’ve been feeling so overwhelmed with life. Between bills and cars and bills and work and the feeling that, “Oh my god this is the rest of my life,” I’ve been needing to just stop for a minute or two, collect my thoughts and re-evaluate what I want to do.

And here is where I make my confession. I. Love. Retail. That’s it. My confession.

I have a degree from a leading liberal arts college (and the debt that accompanies such a prestigious piece of paper). I learned a lot academically and personally. I am an incredibly bright individual who could likely do any manner of things in this world. And I’m content to play around in the stores that I’ve worked in over the past three years.

Whether it’s stocking, inventory control, merchandising (especially merchandising), or customer servicing. I enjoy the variety I get working in retail. No two days are the same. No two customers are the same. Basically my ADD is perfectly assuaged.

The best thing about this past week is I’ve been able to focus more on what I’d like to end up doing. In chatting with some local business owners, I’ve decided that I would LOVE to start focusing on merchandising.

It’ll be interesting to see where this road takes me, but it’s nice to have a goal slightly more focused than generic “retail.”

Last week I started on the road to whatever version of Me lays down the road.

…

Maybe I should preface this. I’m not looking to actively change myself, I’m just looking to actively change myself. Confused yet? I have been, too. I feel like I’ve been living life like a perennial “C” student. Doing just enough to NOT fail, but not necessarily making a concerted effort to succeed. That’s not to say that average is bad. I’m doing alright as average. A very large part of my psyche wishes I could be content with average. Unfortunately, the smaller part of my psyche is saying “you’re more than that.”

This leads me to my latest journey. I’m trying to improve myself. Mentally, physically and professionally. The step I took last week mostly concerns the last, with a great potential to help the first.

I’m taking an improv class. That’s right, me. An improv class.

I must admit, it’s not something I ever envisioned myself doing. For one, I’m shy. For two, I’m shy and mildly introverted. So why, you may ask, did I decide to sign up for such a thing?

It helps that one of my good friends, Rachel (who you can find here and here), teaches the class. It also helps that several of my other Twitter buds are also in the class. That means I’m not freaking out internally because of the mass amountsofstrangerssurroundingmeandOHMYGOD!!!! Sorry about that little freak out…

Besides the safe environment this class provides, the benefits are going to be phenomenal (I think and hope). Let me enumerate them for you:

• Think on the fly. I tend to get a little too bogged down in the details: who, what, why, where, why, why, why… Turns out, the devil is in the details and if you focus TOO long, then you end up blowing it.
• Offer it up. Although it’s nice to include others in the decision making process, sometimes in our work worlds we can’t do that. We need to make a decision and stick with it – don’t ask, do it. (Testimonial: :  At work when we get new product in, it’s sometimes our job to merchandise it. We used to get torn up about it “does this look right? What if we moved this?” Then we realized, if the Powers that Be like it, they’ll leave it. If they don’t, they’ll move it. We did our job, it’s up to Them to do with it what they will.)
• “F*** It.” This is our class motto. Basically, go big or go home. If you’re going to mess up, mess up hard. At least you’ll know you tried.
• Be assertive. Having the ability to say “Here is my decision. Here is why I made it. And here is why YOU need to follow it,” is going to be invaluable as I develop myself professionally. (It’s not easy to be a leader to folks who may have worked for your company longer than you’ve been alive.)

There are many hurdles that lay in the not so distant future. I need to have the confidence to say in interviews, “Here’s why I am the BEST candidate that will cross your path.” This class, about as far out of my comfort zone as anything I’ve done the past three years, will help take me to that next level. Hopefully :)