Posted by: mydarkestplaces | July 1, 2012

Coffeeshop Etiquette

I’ve been hanging out at my coffee shop of choice today. All day. For a change. What I have observed is downright demoralizing. People seem to have forgotten there are rules of etiquette that govern not just every day public behavior, but coffeeshop behavior in particular. To be clear, I know that I’m living in a glass house. Sometimes I need these reminders also, but ultimately I like to think of myself as an overall considerate patron.

1) Even if you’re headed to a business that’s pet (dog) friendly, keep that dog leashed up. Not just literally, but figuratively also. Don’t let the dog run, jump or lavish puppy kisses over other patrons.

2) I don’t care if the performer is your Precious Little Snowflake, they’re performing in a coffeeshop. Don’t shoot me death ray glares if I try and have a conversation with my friends.

3) If it’s busy thou shall not occupy more than one seat. This is the one that I probably need the most reminding of. Since I am in this coffeeshop every day I know a lot of people and will often float table to table all while maintaining my primary spot at the bar. However, if it’s super busy? I don’t take up more than my one seat. If you do, you just look like a douche. No one wants that.

4) If it’s super busy and there are no seats that’s still no reason to crowd anyone else’s space. I like many of you people, but I don’t like you enough to have you in my bubble. Step back, please.

5) At no point is it acceptable to have/maintain/insist on a conversation with someone who has their headphones in.

Please keep these basic guidelines in mind as you retreat to the air conditioned coffeeshops of the world. It will keep us all feeling a little less stabby.

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