Waiting For That Rocket

I’m not going to lie, yesterday was a pretty awesome day.

I got to spend some time with one of my best friends – reading aloud while she prepared dinner. One of my best friends from college came up from New Hampshire with her wife and mother and we grabbed some beers. I went to the drive-in with some good friends and laughed harder than I feel like I’ve laughed in a long time. It was good. It was solid. However it was also tainted.

While out for beer with my friends from the south, I saw someone I used to be really close with. I shared (some of) my secrets with him. He shared his secrets with me. We would walk and talk for hours. I haven’t seen this person, or really talked with him, in over a year. We just sort of….fell out of communication. I tried to maintain – I would text, facebook, whatever to no avail. When I saw him, everything got brighter – I was so excited. I ran up to him and said, “holy crap where have you been” and he looked at me like he didn’t even know me. He said, “oh yeah, I lost my phone”. In that voice of his that I know means he was lying.

I hate having to write someone off. I hate knowing I was so wrong about someone I gave my secrets to. I have enough trust issues when it comes to talking about what I should be talking about without being burned by someone that meant so much to me.

I guess this is the pain of growing up.