Posted by: mydarkestplaces | August 25, 2011

Depression Redux 2.0

As I’ve talked about many a time, depression is something that I’ve struggled with a lot. Chemically, straight up emotionally, situationally. Depression is something that I’ve never been without. This is why I feel confident calling bullshit on people who say “look around you. You live in a beautiful place, have things, have people, you have no cause to be depressed or discontent.”

Newsflash: This. Is. Not. Helpful.

Especially not if there is any sort of chemical depression. In fact, saying this can actually make depression worse. It does for me, even when I’m just saying it to myself. I have the most supportive family, a fairly decent job and a whole heck of a lot of stability in a world without much of any. I know I shouldn’t be depressed. You telling me I shouldn’t be depressed? Well. That just makes me feel guilty for being depressed which in turn pushes the depression deeper and…well…you get the point.

Dealing with societal, internal, and external pressures to perform and/or succeed are that much harder when there’s chemical depression involved. Also? Sometimes people just need to kvetch. Need to hash out that they’re scared/worried/elated. They don’t necessarily need a solution to their problem, they just need someone to be there. Just remember this next time you tell someone they have no real reason to feel down about their circumstances. As my friend Elisa once said, “Sometimes you just need someone to say ‘that sucks’.”


Responses

  1. I was JUST talking to Melissa about this last night. I was like “I’m not really depressed, I’m not really sad, I’m not really angry. I’m just unhappy. I want to find my happy again. I want my sparkle back.”

    Course I say that to people and they’re all like “Elisa, you are sparklier than one of those pasty-white-ass Twilight vampires on a 90 degree day. You need to stop feeling sorry for yourself.” (Note – Melissa mentioned nothing of pasty-white-ass Twilight vampires, in fact she fully supported said kvetching)

    Which yes. It just makes you feel worse. Cause you then get in a vicious circle over which you have teeny tiny minimal control over. The more you feel bad for feeling bad the badder you feel.

    So let me say…I’m sorry you are feeling sorry and that sucks. Pretend I’m giving you a big huge hug right now and maybe that helps an itty bitty bit. Or just picture Ryan Gosling running around shirtless in that house. That certainly brings a smile to my face. ;)

    Heart you big time dear!


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