Posted by: mydarkestplaces | February 9, 2010

What’s in a name?

It’s 1 o’clock in the morning and I’m laying in bed allowing my train of thought to take me wherever it wants to go. This is what I wonder: what the heck does “waiting for that rocket” even mean?

Why am I waiting? Why am I not searching out “my rocket?” I know part of the answer lies in this: I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up, therefore I have no idea what form or shape my rocket will take. How can you seize opportunity when you aren’t sure where that opportunity is going to come from?

There are a million things I’d love to do/try/learn: marketing, design, business, development, retail, law, higher education. I love to talk about, and develop, ideas. I like to help other people succeed. I like to fix problems. I like to drink coffee. I enjoy driving (as long as it doesn’t involve a city larger than Portland – I get freaked out by overly aggressive drivers). I love being outside. I like working with people, but I don’t enjoy feeling like I’ve sold my soul. I love (love love LOVE) mountains, the ocean and seasons – so areas I could potentially relocate to are limited.

I blame my high standards on my mom and dad (I know, what a copout, right?! But bear with me). When I was but a wee tot, my dad worked for a Fortune 500 company and my mom was a CPA. In the ensuing 20 years, though, my dad has followed his dream of being a professional photographer and my mom, although still doing some bookkeeping as a day job, has moved on to a personal ministry. They’ve not been afraid to roll with the punches that come along with following their dreams. They’ve set the bar high for me.

The best thing about my parents, is that they love me unconditionally. Do I exasperate them? Probably daily. Do they wish that I could contribute more financially to the household? I have no doubt. But more importantly, they want me to be happy. And they know the average, run of the mill desk jockey job would never make me happy.

So until that happy day when I find the job that allows me to do everything I want to do, I’m just sitting here waiting for inspiration to strike. I guess I am still “waiting for that rocket to come,” but maybe it’s not as negative as I thought. I’m not idly sitting by, waiting for someone to offer me the “magic beans.” I liken it more to someone meditating, searching for enlightenment and a purpose in life. For now – it’s a holding pattern. I’m just lucky enough to have it be a pattern that I enjoy.


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