Posted by: mydarkestplaces | November 24, 2009

On being a bad friend…

I sent out a tweet last night on how realizing I’ve been a bad friend really sucks. There were a couple immediate responses saying “you aren’t a bad friend!!” But let me give you some context into why I really am a bad friend.

I’m part of an informal family unit. There are friends you have, then there are the friends who are your siblings. That is the land in which A, E, and I (haha) live. This has been the case almost since we met three/four years ago. In that time, a day has hardly gone by when I haven’t phoned/texted/facebooked/or emailed them.

Until the last couple months that is.

The last three months my life has been in turmoil. I have added jobs, quit jobs, changed jobs, changed shifts, changed my life. And instead of keeping in contact with my best friends who have never, ever let me down – I have let them fall by the wayside.

That is not to say that I have been without friends – the Maine Twitterverse has been a constant source of love and support through my transition to third shift – but those relationships are, for the most part, somewhat superficial.** I wish I could say that stepping back from A and E wasn’t deliberate, but I fear part of it may be.

As stated here, Thanksgiving is not my favorite time of year. I am not okay when this particular week rolls around, and this year I feel this week has been approaching for six months now. It has been easier for me to wrap myself in the Twitterverse than in my “family” because the Twitterverse will let me be. My family will ask the questions, and won’t rest until they get the answers. I don’t like giving real answers. I have learned (kind of, mostly) to hide when I’m having a flashback. So instead of subjecting myself to the emotional firestorm that would happen upon a real conversation with the fam, I have enveloped myself in the surface conversations regarding Irish Coffee, Christmas decorations, and #snugsunday.

This is all by way of being an apology. An apology to A and E. And all my other friends who exist outside the Twitterverse who I have let fall by the wayside. I’m sorry that I’ve been a wretched, absent friend. I will do my best to re-emerge into the real world. I just ask for a little bit more time to burrow into my own mind…

**Disclaimer: when I say superficial, I don’t mean in the high school sense of the word. I mean that the relationships I have built with the community at large are not the deep confessional relationship I have with A and E.


Responses

  1. A wise man once told me, “Friends come and go; enemies accumulate.” I’m sure your friends are still — and never were anything other than –your friends. But the twitterverse has one more example of your resonant soul.

  2. Not to discount your relationship with A&E cause those kinds of friends are the most important ever. But remember that once A&E were friends of the superficial variety you are talking about now. They say you shift your circle of friends every 6-7 years. The close ones will stay but the circle who discuss Irish Cream and “fun convos” are the ones who swap out.

    Make new friends, keep the old, right? Plus you never know what great new close friendships you’ll get out of #snugsunday :)


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