Posted by: mydarkestplaces | April 3, 2014

Beaver Brown

I’ve not been shy about how positively I look upon my St. Lawrence experiences. My professors were (and are, bless their patient hearts) integral in me developing into an adult who is willing and able to look at current events and history with a wider angle lens than a small town New England girl. My mentors within the student life realm, again, were and are (bless their patient hearts) integral in developing me into the sort of person with patience and caring for my neighbors. Outside of my parents and my fifth grade teacher (shout out to Mrs. O’Sullivan!) there’s not been an adult (or group of adults) who has more influenced who I am as a human being than the men and women I got to know at St. Lawrence.

However outside of the adults I had the privilege of meeting, knowing and loving, there were my peers. As happens as we grow up, many of us have grown apart. Communicating only on birthdays and holidays, and typically only on days where Facebook reminds us. Of those I have sustained a relationship with beyond just Facebook, Beaver Brown is one of my nearest and dearest. I call her in my darkest and my brightest moments. She will talk me up or talk me down – depending on what I need – and she will make me laugh and she will make me feel the love right into my bones. She’s been that for me since our First-Year at SLU (Student Life professionals – do I get credit for not just saying “freshman”? :) when we would walk to Kittery’s apartment and, instead of stopping to say “hi” to Kittery and Mary Hall we would keep walking down to the playground. It didn’t matter that it was two o’clock in the morning. We wanted to play on the swings and go down the slide. She’s forgiven me for nipping her ankle when she got out of the car too soon and the tire rubbed her inner ankle (although I still maintain it was her fault … I might still owe her Epsom Salts). When friends were taken from us too soon (in whatever manner it happened) she was my first call. Well. She was my first text message. Instead of replying in the same manner she called. The ensuing hour(s) were not really coherent. Mostly me bawling while she talked to me. When we hung up the phone I was still upset, I was still bawling, but the tears came with a little less hysteria and I felt like maybe I was drowning a little less. … If it’s possible to have degrees of drowning. Thinking about it drowning might just be an either or thing.

There’s a Thing going on today. And it’s a thing that makes me think all the thoughts and feel all the feelings.

During my time at St. Lawrence i got to know some really incredible people. Men and women who will, or already are, changing the world around them and us for the better. Beaver Brown has been someone changing my world since 2003. I don’t anticipate there’ll be a time when she’s not kicking my ass or building me up when I need it (depending on what I need :). And even though she’s only visited me twice to my visiting her thrice. And I haven’t seen her in three years. And even though she’s Doing whereas I’m…Not. She’s a friend I wish upon everybody. Because she is the best of the best.

I love you, Beaver Brown. And, seriously, we need to make this visit happen. Sooner rather than later.

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