Posted by: mydarkestplaces | April 23, 2013

“A learning”

Growing up is funny.

When you’re a child, you’re learning new things all the time (hopefully). You’re learning how to interact with people, hopefully in a positive manner. You’re learning facts and figures. Finally you graduate your primary and secondary school. Maybe you head on to an institute of higher education – whether a two-year or a four-year school. Maybe you don’t and jump right into the work force. Whatever. The learning hasn’t ended, but instead of raw facts and figures you’re learning how to synthesize the information that’s been shoveled into your head into more facts, new theories. And then you hit your mid-twenties and it’s like, “yeah, I’ve got this. I know what’s up.” And you think – and claim – that you’ve learned all there is to learn. And then here come your late twenties and beyond. That time when you’ve finally grown up enough to admit that you don’t know shit.

This is, for the most part, the place where I am today.

For the past week, my good friend, Brent, and I have been debating/arguing about violence in today’s world. I will say it started as a debate and ended as an argument. We came to the conclusion that our differing views on it are irreconcilable. It is one of the 5% of topics that we just, flat out, don’t see eye to eye on.

I found myself getting all, “rawr,” about it. Why couldn’t Brent just see that I was right and he was wrong??? And I found myself as irritated as I had been back in college, back when I was a leader for the college Democrats on campus and debating with the college Republicans. And I worried (foolishly) that this would affect my relationship with Brent just like my relationship with some of the college Republicans had changed back in the day.

And then I thought about it.

That would be fucking dumb.

One of the most important things that I’ve learned over the past couple years is what the hell does it matter?

Brent – and many, many of my friends – stretch my mind. While my opinion on any given topic may not change, my approach sometimes does. And that’s one of the most valuable gifts a friend can give.

So, while Brent and I have agreed that this topic is part of our 5% of vehemently disagreed upon topics, that doesn’t mean that we won’t circle back around to it. It certainly doesn’t mean that we won’t argue about (m)any other topics as they come up in the news or in our minds.

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